New York State Funeral Directors Association

Reading insensitive mail after the death of a loved one is difficult

After her mom died a month ago, and with other relatives far away – geographically or otherwise – my wife assumed the responsibility of putting her mother’s affairs in order.

It’s an emotional and administrative task that started out as a red tape-laden mess bound to go nowhere – until I explored this office called Surrogate’s Court.

I never really understood how important a holiday candle-lighting event at a funeral home might be until recently. Now, I think I get it. 

My wife’s mom died recently and unexpectedly. It was the day before her birthday, a week before Thanksgiving and a month before Christmas.

These are holidays that my wife has never spent without her mother. They’re holidays I’ve spent with the two for the past 18 years straight. Now, they’re holidays I want to cancel altogether.

Video: Slaves No More

New York's Capital Region honors, re-buries Colonial-era slaves. Found by accident in an unmarked cemetery, scientists pinpointed their African origin and the community held a wake and funeral.

Video: Family History

Today, resources are becoming more widely available, giving people the ability to learn exciting stories about their ancestors. Find 14 great tips on the Blog.


SympathyNotes is written to stimulate discussion of death and grief. Opinions do not reflect the views of NYSFDA.

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