July 2005

How to Choose a Funeral Director

Choosing a funeral director was simple in our grandparents’ day. Usually, there was only one funeral home in town and the family had gone there for generations.  Nowadays, with families living all over the country and many funeral service choices available, selecting a funeral director may take some careful thought and planning.  However, choosing a funeral director is similar to engaging any other professional such as a lawyer or doctor and doesn’t have to be - nor should it be - a daunting task. In many communities, families have used the same funeral home for many years. In fact, it is not at all uncommon that a funeral home owner and his or her descendants have provided their important services to families over the course of many years and even generations.

If your family does not already have a funeral director, consult with your pastor or rabbi or the local community hospice for recommendations. Ask friends and neighbors.  Did you attend a funeral that particularly impressed you? Visit the Websites of funeral homes in your neighborhood. It is also a good idea to access the New York State Funeral Directors Association’s Website at “www.nysfda.org” to view a list of their members in your area. This Website also features helpful publications in its Bookstore section: “When a Death Occurs” and “A Consumer’s Checklist for Prefunding a Funeral”, as well as other practical information related to funeral service issues.

In fact, prefunding or preplanning a funeral is a very good thing to do as it will save your family from making decisions at a stressful time and you will be assured of having the funeral service you wish. Many consumer advocates advise doing so especially when you live in New York State which has the strongest consumer protection laws in the nation relating to prefunding funerals. Because of these laws, you may easily change your preplan, or even move it to another funeral home

If you’re not familiar with the funeral homes in your area, one of your options is to make an appointment and visit one or more of them. In this way, you can meet with the funeral director, see the facilities you may be using, understand your options and have a clear understanding of the costs for services and merchandise you may need. You’re never under any obligation until you actually engage the funeral home of your choice, and by New York State law, there is never a charge or fee for the information you seek.

Before visiting a funeral director to make arrangements, think about your preferences for a funeral service and bring a list with you when you go to the funeral home. The funeral director will give you printed information that shows the cost of each item, and help you to choose an appropriate and dignified service.

Remember that funeral directors provide a broad spectrum of professional services to families at the time of death, or when the funeral director helps an individual preplan his or her funeral.

A funeral director arranges all details of the funeral by helping families tailor the services to meet their emotional and economic needs; contacting clergy and arranging an appropriate time and place for the services; writing and distributing obituaries; contacting the cemetery/crematory, sexton, florists, fraternal and memorial gift organizations, and preparing all legal documents (death certificates, burial transit/cremation permits, medical examiner certificates, reports of death, social security and all state and federal veterans’ benefits).

In many cases, the funeral director will also offer the family bereavement counseling or refer survivors to a local organization that counsels families in their time of sorrow.